SELECT * FROM engineers WHERE id = 'edward_topalian'

Edward
Topalian

Lead Database Engineer with 20+ years of making queries fast,
pipelines reliable, and DBAs everywhere feel seen.
-- no tables dropped in production. ever. (on purpose)

20+ years_experience
99.9% uptime_avg
0 unsolved_fires
∞ coffee_consumed
NULL accidental_drops
EXECUTE INSERT --contact EXPLAIN ANALYZE --career
edward@prod-db-01 ~ mysql client
mysql> SELECT bio FROM humans WHERE name = 'Edward Topalian';
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| bio |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| I optimize databases the same way I optimize my mornings: aggressively. I've |
| migrated more terabytes than you've streamed on Netflix, led teams across AWS, |
| MySQL, SQL Server, and Terraform, and once reduced a 45-second query to 200ms. |
| I believe in schemas before chaos, indexes before prayers, and backups before sleep. |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
1 row in set (0.00 sec)
 
mysql> -- Currently @ Hallmark | Based in Los Angeles, CA
mysql>
SHOW INDEXES FROM edward.skills ORDER BY cardinality DESC;

Technical Stack

Proficiency index — measured in real production blood, sweat, and 3 AM alerts.

PRIMARY KEYS
AWS
97%
MySQL
94%
SQL Server
91%
PostgreSQL
88%
Redshift
88%
Dynamo DB
88%
Database Migration
95%
Python
95%
Terraform
79%
ClickHouse
71%
New Every 2 Sprints
80%
-- ClickHouse, PostgreSQL: known gap, scheduled for next sprint. PRs welcome.
SCHEMA PHILOSOPHY
CREATE TABLE edward.principles (
  normalize_first    BOOL DEFAULT TRUE,
  index_smartly     BOOL DEFAULT TRUE,
  panic_never       BOOL DEFAULT TRUE,
  document_always   BOOL DEFAULT TRUE,
  ego               INT DEFAULT 0,
  PRIMARY KEY (integrity)
);
CERTIFICATIONS & TOOLS
AWS Certified MySQL Docker Kafka / Debezium CI/CD Pipelines Terraform IaC Team Leadership DR Strategy Cost Optimization VP Stakeholders
SELECT company, role, impact FROM experience WHERE impressive = TRUE ORDER BY start_date DESC LIMIT 3 ;

Experience

20+ years of queries, migrations, and telling developers "please add an index."

2018 – Present
current
Hallmark Cards
LEAD DATABASE ENGINEER
Leading a team of DataBase and DevOps engineers across enterprise-scale platforms on AWS. Driving cloud architecture decisions, DR frameworks, CI/CD pipelines, ETL/ELT design, and data seeding strategies. Owning AWS cost optimization initiatives that cut infrastructure spend without touching performance. Keeping VP-level stakeholders informed, aligned, and occasionally impressed.
AWS Cost Optimization ETL / ELT Data Pipelines DB Architecture Data Seeding DR Strategy Team Lead
2015 – 2018
TeenSafe Inc.
Sr. Database Architect / DBA
Owned multi-terabyte database environments, drove large-scale cloud migrations, implemented replication pipelines, and evangelized index hygiene to every dev team within earshot. Specialized in taking legacy spaghetti schemas and making them something to be proud of.
MySQL SQL Server AWS RDS Python Replication
2011 – 2015
Actv8Me
Lead Backend & Database Developer
building and scaling backend systems for a high-traffic mobile platform used by major TV networks. I designed database architecture, developed APIs, and ensured performance under heavy concurrent usage. I also led a small team of developers while delivering real-time data pipelines and enterprise integrations with partners like Intel and NCR. Additionally, I developed the ACTV8me Beacon Platform for personalized, real-time content delivery across connected devices.
Backend Development APIs Databases Real-Time Systems Scalability
SELECT * FROM wins WHERE impact = 'significant' AND story = 'worth telling';

Query Hall of Fame

Real wins. Anonymized clients. No heroics were harmed in the making of these results.

The 45-Second Monster
RESOLVED
45s
before
→
200ms
after
225×
speedup
A reporting query running full scans across a 200M-row table. Added composite indexes, rewrote 3 correlated subqueries as JOINs, and partitioned by date range. DBA career highlight. Dev team bought coffee for a month.
The Great Migration
CLOUD
12TB
data migrated
4min
downtime
40%
cost saved
On-prem SQL Server to AWS Aurora MySQL. Leveraged AWS DMS, pre-migration compatibility checks, binlog replication, and a 4-minute cutover window. Finance team nearly cried happy tears at the invoice.
The Replication Pipeline
REAL-TIME
<500ms
lag
100%
data fidelity
0
lost rows
MySQL → ClickHouse real-time replication pipeline using Docker Compose, MaterializedMySQL engine, ReplacingMergeTree with Materialized Views for analytics decoupling. From zero to analytics in a weekend.
SHOW FULL PROCESSLIST; -- what edward is running right now

Show Processlist

Live view of active processes. Refreshes every 5 seconds. Results may include side projects and existential queries.

SHOW FULL PROCESSLIST
Id User Host db Command Time State Info
001 edward hallmark:3306 production Query 0 executing Lead DB Engineering · team mgmt · architecture
002 edward localhost:8080 side_projects Query 0 building Built multiple Armenian Community in USA websites, tools
003 edward localhost:9000 learning_queue Query 0 executing Debezium + Kafka CDC pipeline · Docker
004 edward linkedin:443 career Sleep 0 open to opportunities SELECT * FROM roles WHERE location = 'LA' AND level = 'senior'
005 edward kitchen:5432 life Query 0 executing SELECT coffee FROM kitchen WHERE mug IS NOT NULL LIMIT 1
006 edward garage:443 fun Sleep 0 building SELECT * FROM ideas WHERE location = 'garage' AND action = 'wooden furnitures'
007 edward garage:443 fun Sleep 0 fixing SELECT * FROM ideas WHERE location = 'garage' AND action = 'fix cars'
SELECT situation, rpo, rto, comment FROM disaster_recovery WHERE env = 'life';

DR Plan — Life Edition

I apply the same DR rigor to real life as I do to production databases. RPO and RTO for all scenarios.

☕
Coffee spill on laptop
RPO0 min
RTO2 min
-- failover to backup mug is automatic. hot standby always warm.
🔥
Production incident at 2 AM
RPOlast backup
RTO15 min
-- alert strategy: wake up, don't panic, EXPLAIN ANALYZE everything.
📉
Accidental DROP TABLE
RPON/A — never happens
RTON/A
-- point_in_time_recovery: always enabled. still never needed it.
📶
WiFi drops during deploy
RPOlast commit
RTO30 sec
-- hotspot failover. phone plan: SELECT unlimited FROM carrier.
💼
Unexpected job change
RPOresume always current
RTO< 2 weeks
-- portfolio backed up here. LinkedIn always in sync. zero anxiety.
🧠
Someone asks about PostgreSQL
RPONULL
RTOnext sprint
-- known gap. scheduled for remediation. monitoring active.
INSERT INTO conversations (name, email, message) VALUES (?, ?, ?); -- parameterized. obviously.

Get In Touch

Response time: < 24hrs. No spam tolerated. All inputs sanitized.

No forms. No submissions. No black holes. If you know me, just reach out the usual way.

in
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edward-topalian/
AVAILABILITY STATUS
location 'Los Angeles, CA'
remote_ok TRUE
response_sla '< 24 hours'
coffee_required TRUE